Guilt vs. Love

I was reading last night's post (That's a capital "T"...) and reflecting. What a ridiculous way to live my life! Of all the motivating factors I could choose, why would I choose guilt? Here's the thing: I do choose to live with guilt. It does not choose me. I have chosen to allow guilt to rule my decisions, and believed the fallacy that without it, I would have no self-control. This allows me to "excuse" my repeated bad behavior by talking about how "guilty" it makes me feel. Is there any way that feeling guilty can make me a better person? Obviously not! I have somehow managed to live my life thus far without improving any of my procrastinating ways, regardless of how much guilt I heap upon myself. The lunacy of this thinking pattern is obvious!

Not only does my guilt not change me for the better, it also restrains me from truly seeking the Lord's will for my life. I don't do what I should do for fear of not being worthy, not being good enough. What makes me think I'm good enough to witness to a person who obviously needs the Lord's grace? What makes me think I'm good enough to get my graduate degree so I can futher help my family financially? Or even, (referring to last night's post) what makes me think I'm good enough to enjoy the pool table I just purchased? I know I'm not good enough, but instead of embracing the grace given to me through Christ, I hold onto my guilt and try not to live like the true child of God that I am. This is not how God meant for me to live!

He sent his son so I could have abundant life (in other words, to actually enjoy the life he has given me). I am essentially refusing his gift of grace by holding on to my cruddy guilt. It has been like the proverbial "security blanket" Linus drags around with him in the comic strip "Peanuts." The problem is, my guilt security blanket cannot cover my sin, make me a new person, or free me to live the life I've been called to live. It is a sign of my arrested spiritual development, and it must go.

But what will take its place? My fears? My sense of duty? I recall a teacher of the law in Mark asking Christ which commandment (guideline or motivation for how to live life) was the most important of all. Jesus' response was "Love..." I am told to let love for God, and then other people set the standard for my actions. Not guilt. Not obligations. Love.

So which is easier? Which is the path of least resistance? Guilt. But which is freeing? Which is infinitely more fulfilling and true? Love. So I'm choosing love in the same way that I've chosen guilt up until this moment. I'm embracing Christ and his incredible gift of grace right this instant, and I'm refusing to let guilt have a place in my life. "Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!" II Cor. 9:15