Dysfunctional Direction Disorder

Christie: "Hello, my name is Christie."

3-D Support Group: "Hi Christie"

pause

Group Facilitator: (encouragingly) "Go on. You don't have to be embarrassed here, Christie."

Christie: (hesitating) "Well, I guess it all started when I was a kid. (warming up to the idea) My siblings would follow along on a map when we travelled on family vacations. But that map never made sense to me. I mean, what does North, South, East, West, have to do with left and right? Am I right?"

Group: "You're right!"

Christie: "So anyway, I went along through life always wondering why I was different from all the other people. I know now that there were warning signs I just didn't see."

Facilitator: (knowingly) "Cleopatra wasn't de only Queen of de-Nile"

(murmur of assent from the group)

Christie: "There was the time that I was supposed to drive home from Niagara Falls, and somehow ended up in Rochester. There was the time when I was trying to get from a university campus to a mall 6 miles down the road and I ended up driving around in aimless circles for over an hour. One time I even stared at a mall directory in search of a store that was directly in front of me! Well, while gazing confusedly at another map yesterday, the realization suddenly hit me. I have dysfunctional direction disorder!"

(Applause)

Facilitator: "It takes a brave person to stand up in front of a group and admit your personal pain. Thank you for your honesty. Dysfunctional Direction Disorder, or 3-D, affects us all. We were going to have refreshments, but I couldn't find Walmart and ended up in Lowes. Instead of continuing to frantically and fruitlessly search, I just bought the lovely potted plants you see on the refreshment table. Isn't that a nice change from the same old snacks anyway?

shouted from the back of the room: You couldn't find Walmart last week either.

Facilitator: Yes, but on a positive note, the flea collars I found at Pet Smart that day work exceptionally well. In closing, lets all try and meet back here next week. And remember, when someone asks you for directions, just say...

everyone: "Don't ask me! I have 3-D"